Unicorn People
by Swallow B
Summary: Millicent Bulstrode shouldn't have trusted Professor Umbridge. She should have listened to Professor Grubbly-Plank.


Unicorn People

The characters and basic plot belong to JK Rowling.

Thanks to Kelly Chambliss for giving life and character to Professor Grubbly-Plank.

Ooo

There were two reasons I trusted Professor Umbridge.

First, because she was good for the Slytherins. Everybody said so. When the Headmistress asks you to be part of the Inquisitorial Squad and she's not Dumbledore and she's good for Slytherin, you can't say no. It's an honour, they all said. I couldn't let them down.

And then there's the other reason : Checkmate liked Professor Umbridge. Professor Umbridge had a way with cats. She knew how to pull in her claws when she scratched Checkmate's neck. She made funny noises and she called him Pussycat.

Pussycat !

When Umbridge was around, Chekmate got all giddy and funny, just like Draco when Pansy does the same to him. Professor Umbridge had all sorts of treats for cats, the bitch. All the cats were in love with her, except Granger's cat, because he's part Kneazle, so he thinks he's better than everybody else. And McGonagall. She certainly thinks she's better than everybody else. But none of the real cats, the pure-blood cats, could resist Umbridge.

You can't resist someone who's good to cats and to Slytherins.

And let's face it, Dumbledore and Professor Snape won't ever make me a prefect. So I wanted to show them, well, not Dumbledore, because he wasn't there any more, but the rest of the school and Professor Snape, with all due respect, that I can do it. I can be responsible. You don't have to get top marks in Potions to be responsible.

Professor Snape congratulated us, actually. He said well done and not to put Slytherin to shame.

We didn't.

Professor Umbridge said we had to be supportive of the Ministry. Of course we were supportive of the Ministry, if the Ministry was going to get rid of Dumbledore and pretend the Dark Lord didn't exist. Of course we'd help Professor Umbridge shut Potter up.

We could take points off from people who were acting anti-Ministry. I didn't take much points, myself, because the others liked to do it too much, specially Vince and Greg. It made them feel powerful. A different sort of powerful than they usually feel. Taking points and having the Ministry behind you isn't like beating up people when teachers aren't looking. You feel you're entitled.

So Vince and Greg and Draco and Pansy spent the day taking points off the Gryffs and I just got to walk around with a silver 'I' on my robes. It was sort of nice, different.

People don't mess with me usually, because I'm just as good as Vince and Greg at beating them up. But now they didn't mess with me because they respected me.

Well, some of them. Not the Gryffs, of course. The Gryffs never realise I exist. They're too busy bickering with Draco and Pansy and when they do remember, they have that look, 'Oh yeah, here's that big cow Bulstrode…' The Inquisitorial badge made no difference to them.

But they're not the only ones in the school.

Professor Umbridge made us open everyone's post. Pansy read all the gossip. The others fought over parcels. I got a few sweets, here and there, nothing spectacular. It's fun at the beginning, then you realise you don't really need extra sweets and you don't want to nick them from little kids – except Gryffindors. Vince and Greg can eat and eat and eat. I can't. Gets boring after a bit.

And the letters were worse.

"Don't forget to take your potion… I hope you're revising for your OWLs… Uncle Demetrius caught a cold… Send regards to Professor Flitwick…"

Boring as hell.

(It's just an expression. Hell's not boring. I know people who've been there.)

Anyway, somehow Pansy got all the juicy ones. Or maybe she was making them up.

And then they got Montague. No one knows who it was, but of course it was the Gryffs. I mean, who would get someone jammed in a toilet? Only a Gryff. It wasn't enough they won the match, they still had to get rid of our captain. Because Wonder Potter and the Weasley Bludgers were off their team. It was their own fault, but they don't think like that. And as Professor Snape always says, Slytherins don't expect fairness.

Slytherins expect to end up stuck in a toilet.

Professor Snape was furious, though, and the Montagues, the parents… If whoever did that gets caught… But it won't happen. Dumbledore is back.

They got Warrington with a leprosy hex and they gave Pansy antlers. Everybody was trying very hard not to laugh, because she really looked ridiculous. But Slytherins stick together. No one laughed. Even Blaise didn't sneer. He acted as if he hadn't noticed.

Then after the OWLs, all went downhill. That idiot Potter was sneaking around in Professor Umbridge's office. We caught him and his stupid friends. Professor Umbridge was going to have them all kicked out and good riddance, if you ask me - not that anyone ever does.

Granger was blubbering on my robes. She told Professor Umbridge they were making a weapon for Dumbledore, so Umbridge went to get it with Potter and Granger, leaving us to watch over the others.

I don't think there really was a weapon, but Professor Umbridge believed it, so we all did.

I shouldn't have trusted her, I know. Leave us with bloody Gryffindors. As soon as she had her back turned, we were all lying on the floor, Stunned. They thought it was funny. Gryffindor humour.

We were stuck there for ages. It got dark outside and we were beginning to starve. Your stomach doesn't rumble when you're Stunned. It only happened after Professor Snape came to de-hex us.

And next thing we knew, Dumbledore was back, Draco, Theo and Vince's fathers had been arrested for being Death Eaters and everybody knew the Dark Lord had returned.

Umbridge is in hospital. They say she called the centaurs half-breeds and they attacked her.

Isn't that stupid? Centaurs aren't half-breeds. They're centaurs.

No more Inquisitorial Squad. No more opening people's parcels and taking points from the Gryffs. Back to old Dumbledore reality.

And guess what : everybody hates Slytherin. What's new?

Professor Grubbly-Plank had warned me, though.

Ooo

It was one day in October. I had let Checkmate out to roam around the grounds while the weather wasn't too cold yet , and here comes Professor Umbridge who wasn't yet headmistress, just High Inquisitor.

She saw Checkmate and started to turn on the charm for him. He was rolling on his back, loving it and I was watching, thinking, hey, that's MY cat, but thinking, he's my friend and I want him to be happy. Just like if some idiot had fallen in love with Tracey. I waited for Umbridge to go away. But when she went away, Checkmate got up and followed her.

I was sitting there not knowing what to do when I heard a whistling sound. Checkmate stopped and cocked his ears. Umbridge didn't notice. She's just seen Filch who is as much in love with her as the cats.

Professor Grubbly-Plank was coming from the owlery. Checkmate sat up and waited for her, looking like a king. She bent over to scratch his ears.

"Don't let her touch your cat," she said to me.

I privately agreed, but I said,

"She likes cats."

"She likes them the wrong way."

Professor Grubbly-Plank straightened up and began to walk towards the Forest. Checkmate trotted behind her.

The wrong way?

I jumped up and followed them. She walks fast, but so can I. She didn't tell me to go away, so I figured it was all right.

"What's the right way?" I asked.

"The right way to what?"

She was already thinking of something else.

"To like cats."

She looked at me as if she hadn't imagined I was that stupid.

"Respect," she said, as if it was obvious.

I suppose it is, when you think of it. Professor Grubbly-Plank doesn't look the respectful type, but she is. She's the only one who calls Hagrid Professor.

"So," I said, "there are different sorts of cat people?"

She snorted.

"The world isn't split into cat people and bad people, Miss Bulstrode."

"No, but into cat people and dog people."

That's what Mum says, though I try not to mention Mum too often.

"You need to broaden your horizons, girl."

"Accio," she added and a bag of dead rats appeared in her hand. Checkmate sniffed it appreciatively. Professor Grubbly-Plank sniffed back.

"She doesn't give you anything like that, does she?"

The way she said "she" was not respectful, though it was not outright disrespectful either.

"That's to teach you who are your real friends."

She dropped a rat at Checkmate's feet. Not an offering I'd appreciate, but to each its own.

She Accioed a couple more bags and told me to take one.

"We are going to feed the Hippogriffs."

We?

She didn't mean Checkmate.

The bag of rats was awfully heavy and smelly.

"That's a lot of dead rats," I said. "Who killed them all?"

"There are people who kill rats," she said, balancing one heavy bag on each shoulder, "there are people who kill cows, pigs, chicken."

I suppose.

"And there are people who kill people," she added.

We had arrived to the Hippogriff paddock. As soon as the Hippogriffs saw us, they charged in our direction. Professor Grubbly-Plank gave me a sharp look.

I know how to handle Hippogriffs. Who does she think I am? Draco?

Professor Grubbly-Plank climbed over the fence and walked towards them. With respect. And with two bags full of dead rats. I did the same.

The thing is, when you have to feed a dozen Hippogriffs, you can't look at each one in the eye or you'd go cross-eyed. You just have to do your best. It must feel pretty much the same to be a teacher. I picked one who looked specially hungry and we had a staring contest. He won and I bowed. And he bowed. And I opened the bag of goodies.

They are very polite when they eat,Hippogriffs. It's not that hard to feed them. Professor Grubbly-Plank looked pleased, as she stood there, her hands in her pockets, watching.

Then, abruptly, she turned and climbed back over the fence.

"Nifflers now," she said.

At least, Nifflers don't eat dead rats. They live in a Niffler building - all right, a bunch of crates - and they look like rats themselves, except cuter.

Professor Grubbly-Plank had a bag of vegetables for them, this time. She stopped outside Niffle City and looked at me.

"Shall I feed them?" I said.

"Go ahead."

I plunged my hand into the bag and fished out some dried cabbage leaves.

"You've forgotten something," said Professor Grubbly-Plank.

"What? Checkmate? I don't think it's a good idea to bring him along. He might find the Nifflers more entertaining than the rats."

""No, not Checkmate," she said.

The Nifflers had smelt the food. They were beginning to scratch and climb and jump up and down.

"Your jewelry," she said impatiently.

"My what?"

I giggled. Who does she think I am? Pansy? I didn't even bother to answer.

Nifflers aren't as polite as Hippogriffs, but they're fluffy and they love to play.

When we'd finished that, Professor Grubbly-Plank looked even happier. She actually smiled.

"You're getting a treat now, Miss Bulstrode," she said.

A dead rat or a raw carrot ?

It was much better. It was the unicorn and her foal.

"I trust you not to bring the others here," she warned me before leading the way to the tree where they were tethered.

"I won't," I breathed,"or perhaps… just Tracey?"

"If you tell her not to screech."

"She's not an owl."

"Teen-agers are worse than owls."

"I'm a teen-ager."

She said nothing. She walked over to the unicorns. I followed on tiptoe.

She fed them herself, this time, mixtures she had prepared in two separate buckets, one for the mother and one for the baby. I just stood there and watched and watched and watched. I didn't screech.

When they had finished eating, she stroked them gently and encouraged me to do the same. It was as if quiet and peace came out of them, as if it gleamed off their shiny coats and filled the air.

She talked to them softly. I didn't understand what she said. It wasn't in English. Perhaps it was incantations. At times, it sounded like a lullaby.

And then suddenly she turned to me and she said,

"It's getting dark. Goodnight, Miss Bulstrode."

"Goodnight, Professor," I said, "and thank you."

I don't know why. I was the one who helped her.

I found Checkmate licking his chops, quite contented and ready to go and roll up in front of the common room fire.

"Don't let her touch your cat," Professor Grubbly-Plank had said.

It's not that I forgot. It's just that some things are out of one's control. I couldn't stop Checkmate from going after Professor Umbridge, even though she never gave him dead rats.

And then Hagrid came back and Professor Grubbly-Plank left without saying goodbye. Before she left, she told Professor Snape I should be a magical creatures healer and that's why I had to take Remedial Potions to get into NEWTs class.

Professor Grubbly-Plank taught me a lot. Most important, perhaps, that cat people aren't always good people. But I bet unicorn people are.


End file.
